Who's on a virtual book tour today? John Arnold, author of GOING HOME: A COMEDY, is and is stopping off here! Please leave a comment or question for John to let him know you stopped by!
About the Book:
Title:
Going Home: A Comedy
Author: John Arnold
Publisher: Independent
Pages: 128
Genre: Play (Comedy)
Going
Home is a light-hearted comedy about a family vacation across the U.S.
in the early 1960s. The Sacramento Bee called it "a gentle journey down
memory lane...'Going Home' shows us where we belong."
For More Information
- Going Home: A Comedy is available at Amazon.
- Pick up your copy at Barnes & Noble.
TIME: The early 1960s
PLACE: A family vacation car ride from California
to Michigan
with stops in-between
CHARACTERS:
MOM
DAD
BILLY
(The following roles can be doubled or tripled)
“DINAH SHORE”
HUEY THE DUCK
MR. JOHNSON, THE MAILMAN
MR. JOHNSON, THE MAILMAN
CACTUS JACK
CACTUS PETE
CACTUS PETE
COWBOY BOB
PRINCESS MOONGLOW
MOTEL LADY
WAITRESS
SODA JERK
GRANDMA
AUNT MILLY
UNCLE FRED
COUSIN LEONARD
COUSIN CHARLENE
GREAT AUNT BEA
Act One
CHILDREN'S CHORUS (Singing)
"Over the river and through the woods
To
grandmother's house we go..."
"DINAH SHORE" (Singing) "See the U.S.A.
In your
Chevrolet..."
CHILDREN'S
CHORUS "...The horse knows the way
To carry the
sleigh..."
"DINAH SHORE" "...America's the greatest land of all..."
"CHILDREN'S
CHORUS "...Over the river and through the woods..."
"DINAH SHORE" "See the U.S.A. in your Chevrolet -
America's the greatest land of all!"
(She
blows the audience a big
kiss)
Mmmmumph!!!
(There is the
sound made by an alarm clock. Then...)
(Lights up. MOM
enters carrying a Styrofoam ice chest and paper bag)
MOM (Calls
off) Honey! Come on!
(DAD enters,
carrying three suitcases)
DAD (Calls
off) Hurry up! We got to make 600 miles today!
BILLY (Enters
sleepily, wearing his jeans and still wearing his
pajama top)
It's still dark!
DAD Oh, my
God! He's still wearing his pajamas!
MOM (Helps
him out of his pajama tops and into a shirt) Only part
of them!
DAD And his
shoes aren't even tied!
BILLY I'm
sleepy!
MOM (Tying
the shoes) He's sleepy.
DAD My God,
we got 600 miles to go!
MOM (Tying
the other shoe) Are you excited about seeing Grandma and
your aunts
and uncles and your cousins?
BILLY (Rubs
his eyes) Uh-huh.
MOM
Grandma's going to be so glad to see you!
BILLY Uh-huh.
MOM ...We
haven't seen her in such a long time...
DAD (Looks
at his watch) I want to get to Flagstaff TONIGHT.
MOM (Very
seriously) Did you go to the bathroom?
BILLY
Uh-huh.
MOM
Number one or number two?
BILLY (Humiliated,
softly) I
went.
MOM Which
one, honey?
DAD For God's
sake. We don't need the details. Let's go!
MOM OK. (Indicates
bag and Styrofoam chest) I've baked you brownies
and cookies and there's pop in there and things for a picnic!
DAD
COME ON! (Goes off with suitcases. Mutters.) Holy
s---
MOM
(Holds a finger to her lips: "Not in front of the boy.") Honey,
shhh! (DAD exits muttering)
BILLY I
have to say goodbye to Huey.
MOM Honey,
you've ALREADY said goodbye to your duck.
BILLY
PLEASE?!
MOM OK, but
hurry up. You know how your Dad is. He wants to "get this
show on the road". (Goes off) We'll meet you at the car. And
HURRY! (Exits)
HUEY, the duck,
enters.
BILLY (Walks
over and pats him on the head)
Goodbye.
DUCK (Matter
of factly) Goodbye. (To audience) I wish he wouldn't
pat me on
the head.
BILLY The
mailman is going to take of you while I'm gone. Mom and
Dad are paying him five dollars a week to change your water
and put your pellets in your dish every day. (Pets him again,
then walks away, then turns back.) Be good. (Exits)
DUCK (Shakes
his "feathers") Be good yourself. God, I hate to be
petted
sometimes!
BLACKOUT
The back seat of
the car. MOM and DAD are in the front seat.
DAD is whistling
"No Other Love". MOM is looking out the window. BILLY is
sprawled in the
back seat.
MOM
Mmm! Breathe that fresh air! (BILLY sticks his head out
the window. MOM pulls him back.) HONEY! Don't stick your
head out the window!
DAD
Do you want to get it wacked off?!
BILLY Dogs do
it.
DAD
Well, you're not a dog. ...Now, sit back and settle down.
(Resumes whistling "No Other Love".)
BILLY
I'm bored.
MOM (Turning
around) Don't be silly. You can't be
bored.
It's only been ONE hour since we left... (Turns back)
BILLY But I
AM bored. And it's been FOREVER.
MOM
Don't be silly. Why don't you work on one of your activity books?
BILLY
I've already connected the dots. (Holds it out.) See?
MOM
(Absent mindedly, looking out the window) Uh-huh.
BILLY
(Turns a page) This is the Blue Fairy. (Turns a page) And
this
is Gepetto.
DAD
What happened to Pinocchio?
BILLY
They don't have any dots to connect for him.
DAD
Well, that's life. You're one top one day and the next they
don't give
you any dots.
MOM
Oh, they must have some dots for Pinocchio. Why don't you
you check it
again?
BILLY
Uh-uh! (Adamant, holds up book) You can look for
yourself.
MOM
OK! OK! I believe you!
About the Author
John Arnold has had have his work presented in either a
reading or production at American Conservatory Theater (San Francisco)
playreading series; California Playwrights Festival, Sacramento; Out and About
Theater, Minneapolis; Playwrights Center, San Francisco; Sacramento Theater
Company; West Coat Ensemble, Hollywood; Aloha Theater, Kainaliu, Hawaii;
Moving Arts, Los Angeles; Mercury Cafe, Denver; First Stage, Los Angeles; The
Theater-Studio, New York, Prince William Sound Community College, Valdez,
Alaska; Theater of Western Springs, Illinois; and others. His monologue “Bit”
is featured on Fourth Wall Review.com.
His screenplays have been finalists in the Art Color “Digital Cinema
International Film Festival, Montreal,
the San Francisco Global Movie Fest and Indie Film Fest, Switzerland.
His latest play is Going
Home: A Comedy.
For More Information
- Visit John Arnold’s website.
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